Thursday, October 5, 2017

Life in Our New Home: Mayward Family Update

A foggy St Andrews Cathedral selfie, with a puddle-stomping toddler in the background

The kids near West Sands

Our new home.

In the quad of St Mary's College, the Divinity school

St Andrews Castle
Copeland and Eloise on their first day of primary school in Scotland.

On September 5, after a few red eye flights and a brief wonderful hiatus with our friends, the Bartons, in Connecticut and New York, we arrived at our new home in St Andrews. In so many ways, the adjustment has been much smoother and simpler than we anticipated. Within the first week of arriving in St Andrews, we set up a bank account, acquired new cell phone plans and Internet (albeit we had to wait three weeks for the Internet to be activated, for reasons still unknown), obtained our biometric cards (which are essentially our visas and IDs while living here), and settled into our cozy two-bedroom bungalow.

Now we've been here a month. There have been moments of stress and exhaustion, and the kids have taken some time to adjust to a few particular aspects (especially attending a new school). But we're genuinely enjoying life here in our new home. Here's what we're loving about St Andrews so far:

Walking. We walk everywhere! With so many pathways and streets, and in such a small town, we find that walking works best so far, rain or shine. Our home is less than a 5 minute stroll from the kids' primary school and two local grocery stores. We're near a path called Lade Braes, which meanders throughout the town alongside a creek named Kinness Burn and goes by a number of parks, a pond, and a large knoll called Hallow Hill. The center of town a 10-15 minute walk; my office space across from the St Andrews Cathedral is 20 minutes. While it's taken some adjustment for all of us, we are thriving here. Katie and I have always loved going on walks and hiking around. In the locations we've lived where that was more difficult, it felt like something important was missing in our lives. St Andrews' walkability suits us wonderfully.

Food. While we've yet to attempt haggis, we've really enjoyed the meals we've eaten. With our family's dietary restrictions due to food allergies, food can be tough, but we have discovered so many more things we can eat, especially me. Among other things, I'm allergic to soy, which is in the majority of packaged food items in North America (go check your cupboard--you'll find soy in nearly everything), but it's rare to find it here. After an evening cup of tea, we eat a lot of baked goods, particularly shortbread. We've also found that food prices are comparable to the US, if not less expensive. Did I mention baked goods? Because, shortbread.

Culture and pace of life. In the month since we left, the US has experience devastating wildfires in the Columbia Gorge, hurricane and tropical storm disasters in Texas and Puerto Rico, the worst mass shooting in American history in Las Vegas, threats of nuclear war from North Korea, and all the vitriol and immorality stemming from the current US president. Things are slower and quieter in St Andrews. It grieves us to hear of such tragedy from a distance, and there are times when we wish there was more we could do to help from afar beyond our prayers. Still, St Andrews feels like a sanctuary, a small enclave of decency and beauty in the world, and we're thankful to experience it for a season. We have encountered so many friendly and genuinely good people here, not only from Scotland, but from all over the world in this small-town university setting.

Community. Before we ever arrived in St Andrews, we had already experienced the kindly embrace of the Divinity school community. Through email and social media, our questions were answered and worries were calmed in the weeks and months leading up to our move. Upon arrival our new friends, the Morleys, came by with a ready-made dinner for us. Since then, we've met so many wonderful people and received a myriad of invitations for meals, drinks, and conversations. In our first church visit, we were greeted by a host of professors and postgraduate families. Over and over, people asked us, "What do you need? How can we help?" When a professor's husband asked me what we needed, we semi-jokingly said, "A coffee maker." (Coffee in Scotland is nowhere near what coffee is like in the Pacific Northwest.) Though we had just met, he said he had one we could borrow, and dropped it on our doorstep that afternoon. It's just a small example of the hospitality and generosity we've encountered; at times, it feels very much like an Acts 2 community, a taste of heaven on Earth. The postgraduate community at St Mary's College--the Divinity school--is wonderfully inviting and life-giving.

We've heard from a number of the PhD families entering their fourth year of research that they're reluctant to leave St Andrews when the studies have come to a close, as they've loved their time here so much. I can already see what they mean.

Monday, August 28, 2017

Pop Culture Consumption, Summer 2017

It's been four months since I graduated from Portland Seminary, and we are in the final week leading up to our move to Scotland. We leave for New York on September 2, then fly into Edinburgh on September 5. I'll begin my PhD programme at St Andrews on September 27, so we will have a few weeks to get settled as a family before I dive back into full-time academic studies.

I've tried to take advantage of this in-between time to read and watch as much as possible, particularly books and films outside of my research. So, here's a list of everything I've consumed since graduating from seminary (April 28) until now (August 28), posted in chronological order without comment or review:

Movies (Read my movie reviews at Cinemayward or follow me on Letterboxd)
  • The Lost City of Z (2017)
  • A Monster Calls (2016)
  • Mulholland Dr. (2001)
  • The Handmaiden (2016)
  • Guardians of the Galaxy (2014)
  • Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 (2017)
  • Florence Foster Jenkins (2016)
  • Alien: Covenant (2017)
  • The Silence of the Lambs (1991)
  • Don’t Think Twice (2016)
  • Alien (1979)
  • La La Land (2016)
  • Aliens (1986)
  • Alien 3 (1992)
  • Escape from New York (1981)
  • A Quiet Passion (2017)
  • Stalker (1979)
  • Wonder Woman (2017)
  • Paterson (2016)
  • I Am Not Your Negro (2016/7)
  • Brooklyn (2015)
  • Things to Come (2016)
  • The Spitfire Grill (1996)
  • War Machine (2017)
  • The Book of Henry (2017)
  • Heat (1995)
  • Wonder Woman (2017)
  • Moana (2016)
  • Star Trek Beyond (2016)
  • Casting JonBonet (2017)
  • Wonder Woman (2017)
  • Baby Driver (2017)
  • Okja (2017)
  • The Beguiled (2017)
  • Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)
  • Their Finest (2017)
  • Night of the Living Dead (1968)
  • War for the Planet of the Apes (2017)
  • Trafic (1971)
  • Dunkirk (2017)
  • Rio Bravo (1959)
  • The Big Sleep (1946)
  • Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets (2017)
  • Bringing Up Baby (1938)
  • Sunrise: A Song of Two Humans (1927)
  • A Ghost Story (2017)
  • A New Leaf (1971)
  • The Happiest Day in the Life of Olli Maki (2017)
  • Ball of Fire (1941)
  • Sergeant York (1941)
  • The Battle of Algiers (1966)
  • Southside with You (2016)
  • To Have and Have Not (1944)
  • Grand Illusion (1937)
  • The Birds (1963)
  • What We Do in the Shadows (2014)
  • David Lynch: The Art Life (2017)
  • The Glass Castle (2017)
  • Twin Peaks: Fire Walk With Me (1992)
  • After the Storm (2017)
  • A Man for All Seasons (1966)
  • The Believer (2001)
  • The Son of Joseph (2017)
  • Logan Lucky (2017)
  • The Trip (2010)
  • Twin Peaks, Season 1-2
  • Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, Season 3
  • Master of None, Season 1 (didn't finish)
  • The Wire, Season 1
  • Rectify, Season 1
  • The Good Place, Season 1
  • American Gods (Neil Gaiman)
  • Out of the Silent Planet (C.S. Lewis)
  • Perelandra (C.S. Lewis)
  • The Peaceable Kingdom (Stanley Hauerwas)
  • In the Name of Jesus (Henri Nouwen)
  • That Hideous Strength (C.S. Lewis)
  • The Quakers: A Very Short Introduction (Pink Dandelion) 
  • Like Dew Your Youth (Eugene Peterson)
  • Theology and Culture (Paul Tillich)
  • Movies are Prayers (Josh Larsen)
  • A Gentleman in Moscow (Amor Towles)
  • Trauma and Memory (Peter Levine)
  • The Crucifixion (Fleming Rutledge) 
  • A Book of Luminous Things (Czeslaw Milosz)
  • The Givenness of Things (Marilynne Robinson)
  • Jayber Crow (Wendell Berry)
  • This American Life
  • Filmspotting
  • Seeing and Believing with Wade Bearden & Kevin McLenithan
  • Invisibilia
  • On Being with Krista Tippett
  • Kendrick Lamar - DAMN.
  • Sufjan Stevens, Nico Muhly, Bryce Dessner, and James McAlister - Planetarium
  • Arcade Fire - Everything Now
  • The War on Drugs - A Deeper Understanding

What have you been reading, watching, or listening to this summer of 2017?

Wednesday, July 12, 2017

Preparing for Scotland: A Mayward Family Update

Our luggage so far.
Seven checked bags and five carry-on bags.

That's our personal goal: we're aiming to fit everything we hope to bring to Scotland with us in our luggage. I'll likely have to ship a box or bag of books for my PhD studies--I have a growing stack of art-and-theology books surrounding my desk--but for everything else, we're striving for minimalism. In those 7 checked bags, with a weight limit of 50 pounds, we'll pack all our clothing and shoes, our DVDs and toys, and anything else we feel we'll absolutely need for our time in Europe.

It's a challenge to determine which of our possessions to bring with us, what we need to store away for our (potential) return in 3+ years, and what we need to sell or discard. Looking at an item--an article of clothing, a book, a piece of furniture, some artwork--we have to ask ourselves, "Will I need or want this in 3 years?" This process has brought to light both just how materialistic we can become in our consumerist culture, yet how certain items still hold immense, appropriate value for us. In digging through closets and creating giveaway piles, we have rediscovered beloved objects, artifacts from our journey together: old journals from our college years; a coffee mug given as a gift when Katie and I first began dating; small trinkets saved from international travels and the birth of our children; a special toy or stuffed animal for our kids.

In my 20s, I used to rage against the consumeristic materialism of our culture and decry any ownership of things. Now, a little older and little wiser, while I still lament over our society's idolization of wealth and excess, I am recognizing the grace of things. I see the good gift of God's created world and the good things we make with it, and I am thankful. I am also humbled by those who have given of their own wealth to support us, and we are deeply appreciative for the generosity extended to us.
Here's a brief update about our financial situation from our GoFundMe campaign:
We've done it: our goal for this fundraising campaign was $40,000 in savings, enough for our UK visa and travel purposes. Right now, as I type this, we have $42,278.75 in our savings account. So while we didn't achieve this GoFundMe goal of $10k, it's been incredible to see how friends and family have given just the right amounts at the right time. Thank you, Thank You, THANK YOU to all who have given. 
Some things I've learned from an online fundraising campaign:

1) The money will come in unexpected ways. Whether from a new writing project, a speaking gig, or the incredible generosity of friends and acquaintances, I have been repeatedly moved to tears when a significant contribution has been given when I least expected it. So many friends from seminary gave to us, even though I know they have their own tuition costs and financial strains--thank you for your generosity and support, friends! We feel deeply loved. 
2) I don't do self-promotion very well. Perhaps this is why my books haven't exactly been best sellers. I'm hesitant using social media to promote my "brand" or "build a platform." So, in spite of me, people still gave generously. 
3) God is faithful in all things. Whether we had achieved our goal (and we did!) or if nothing had happened, I remain convinced that God is present and active in our story, in good and life-giving ways. This isn't a theology of glory or health/wealth; it's simply a recognition that every good gift comes from a good God.
Since posting that update, we've also found a new (temporary) home in St Andrews, a two-bedroom bungalow in a wonderful location between the children's primary school and the Divinity school. There's a yard and a fireplace and a small sunroom. It's rather small compared to many American homes, which is wonderful--we're genuinely excited for more minimalistic living. The lease only goes from September until May, so we hope it will be a great initial home for us in Scotland.
A glimpse of our new home in St Andrews.
We also have our plane tickets. On Saturday, September 2, we'll fly to New York. On Monday, September 4, our family of five will board an evening flight and wake up 7 hours later in Scotland. We'll spend a day with wonderful friends we met in Arizona, Josh and Liz Barton, who now live just outside NYC in Connecticut. We're so excited to see our friends in New York during our layover. We anticipated flights costing anywhere from $1000-$1600 per person, as well as planned for a few lengthy layovers. However, we found some incredible prices for tickets through Norwegian Air and United Airlines. Perhaps I'm overspiritualizing it, but finding airline deals which allow our entire family to fly to Scotland for *less than $1400 total* feels like Divine providence and grace. Katie and I are making a list of ways God provides for us in this adventure to Scotland; we've added "cheap airline tickets" and "home in St Andrews" to the list.

We are experiencing a number of endings in this in-between season: my graduation from Portland Seminary back in April; finishing up my time as the interim high school director at Lake Grove Presbyterian at the end of June; saying goodbyes to friends and family in these weeks before we leave. It can be difficult and stressful to live in this liminal space, saddened by what we are leaving behind while eagerly anticipating what lies ahead. Yet we are also learning to be present and remain hopeful, preparing well while also holding our plans with open hands. Now, we await information for applying for our visas--please be praying that this visa process happens quickly and smoothly! Thanks for following our story and being a part of our journey. We'll keep the updates coming in the weeks and months to come.

Monday, May 29, 2017

Re-membering Well

I will remember the deeds of the Lord;
    yes, I will remember your miracles of long ago.
I will consider all your works
    and meditate on all your mighty deeds
Psalm 77:11-12

On this Memorial Day Weekend, I am remembering, and still shaken by, the recent violent events which rocked my city only days ago: a man, full of hatred and violence, murdered two courageous men and injured a third when the three defended two teenage girls being harassed by racist, hurtful slurs. A group of strangers, united only by their encounter on the MAX train line, found themselves in a life-and-death moment which tragically ended in loss of life. I am deeply grieved that something so horrific--a racist hate crime and a domestic act of terrorism--could occur so close to home. I am also deeply humbled by the real-life Good Samaritan story of two individuals who took action to help and serve their neighbors--teenagers, no less, making this a true youth ministry tale--and in doing so, lost their lives.

I also remember a friend from high school, 1st Lt. Brian Bradshaw, a soldier in the US Army who was killed on June 25, 2009 in the war in Afghanistan. A bomb exploded near his vehicle. He was 24 years old. I remember his sarcasm and humor, as well as his depth of insight and principled actions. He served his family and friends and neighbors and strangers, and lost his life serving his country. I remember all of my friends and family who have served in the military or been affected by its ubiquitous presence in American culture.

I remember the bombs dropped by American drones and planes on civilian lives in the Middle East, the Coptic Christians in Egypt who were killed this past week by ISIS, the Manchester bombing. There are so many acts of violence or injustice in recent weeks as to become a blurred ink smear on the pages of history. One can easily become cynical or despairing. Yet I also remember the good news of the kingdom of heaven, and how death has been conquered by resurrection life.

Laying down one's life for another may be the ultimate act of sacrificial love. Yet there are family members and friends left behind, grieving in the land of the living. Even within a sacrificial act, like the two men who defended the teens or Brian Bradshaw's service, there is pain and less. It is sobering to think of one's life and story in light of those who have been lost, and to integrate the memories into individual and communal narratives. We must remember well; we must re-member.

To re-member is to put flesh and blood on memories, to enact practices and habits in light of the past as a faithful step into the future. Memories can dissolve with time; re-membering raises them back into concrete existence. It is an invitation to re-member, re-gather, re-create, and re-call. It is an invitation of faith, hope, and love.

Responding to this invitation, I am also remembering God's faithfulness and providence in my life, the moments of unexpected blessing and sheer delight that comes from being a recipient of divine generosity. Katie recently had the idea to begin a journal collecting the stories of God's provision in our lives. It is a chronicle of answered prayers, both those intentionally articulated and those unspoken and even unknown by us at the time. Through Jesus, there were medical bills paid, housing provided, friendships discovered, opportunities presented, doors both closed and opened, and courage given. It's a spiritual discipline of sorts, taking the time to search our memories, both recent and distant, and writing down what we find there when we search for Christ's presence. We are re-membering, giving flesh to and creating a narrative body from the scattered stories of Jesus moving in our midst.

We leave for Scotland on September 2, traveling first to New York, then getting on a plane to Edinburgh on September 4 and arriving the following morning. Between these three-day weekends bookending the summer months--Memorial Day to Labor Day--we will continue to re-member God's faithful presence and action in our lives, even as we attempt to practice faithfulness ourselves. We are still waiting and searching for a accommodations in St Andrews, still waiting for information on visas and loans, still raising support as we give away or sell our belongings in anticipation of moving across the world. It can be a nerve-wracking endeavor, but we are re-membering God's goodness, and thus can step into the unknown with a genuine sense of hope and peace. I think of the picture of our family above, taken on the coast of Maui, facing into the wind and moving towards the edge of the jagged cliff, new horizons before us as we step forward together. I remember....

Would you re-member with us, and remember us, in your prayers and in your advocacy? You can support us financially through our campaign, and continue to follow our journey here at

Monday, March 6, 2017

Our Journey to Scotland: A Mayward Family Update

The Roundel, a study area for Divinity postgrad students at St Andrews
In September of 2012, the Mayward family sold our home and moved to Canada. With a new pastoral role, as well as a desire to get my master's degree at Regent College in BC, our family felt led by the Holy Spirit to uproot from our home and ministry in Arizona to embark on a new adventure, excited about the possibilities we saw in our new context and community.

While we made lifelong friendships and loved the beauty of BC, our season in Canada proved to be more difficult than I anticipated. Two years into our stay, I found myself in burnout and depression, prompting our family to move back to to Portland only days before Christmas 2014 in order to heal and discern what God was up to. A few months later, our son Alister was born; a few weeks after that, he was diagnosed with congenital heart disease, ultimately leading to open heart surgery when he was six months old. In the midst of my darkest emotional and spiritual season, we also navigated the experience of caring for a child with a life-threatening disease. During those weeks and months, I resonated with the biblical stories of Job, Jeremiah, and Habakkuk: God, what are you doing? Why is this happening? Where are you in all this?

During this season, I went back to seminary. For a long time, probably since my early college years, I've wanted a doctorate. I'd delayed in getting my master's degree for years, dabbling in a class here and there, until finally enrolling full-time at George Fox Evangelical Seminary, now Portland Seminary.

A lot of people were perplexed. You're in burnout...and you want to go to seminary? Wouldn't that make everything worse? Yet I have *loved* my time at Portland Seminary. It has been richly therapeutic and life-giving. I love reading. I love writing. I love pondering and processing and deconstructing and reconstructing. I love communicating ideas with others, whether verbally or written, in the hopes of sparking interest and inspiration, shaping and sharpening their paradigms and practices. Becoming a theologian in the world of academia sounds right up my alley.

Still, I also love being a pastor. I continue to feel a commitment to the local church. Thankfully, I've been able to serve in an interim youth ministry position at a very gracious church who has encouraged my academic pursuits. The art of shepherding others, being a spiritual guide and sounding board--it's a sacred privilege and a joy. Moreover, it's a calling, however one wants to parse that term. Yet through this vocational discernment process and all the winding paths, I have more clarity than ever: I need to pursue becoming a professor, a pastor-theologian.

I view my vocation as one of building bridges. I often find myself standing between communities, with one foot firmly planted in each. I want to build bridges between the worlds of the local church and the academy; between theological conservatives and progressives; between various cultures, faiths, and tribes in order foster conversations about meaning and morality with grace and respect. In our current climate of political unrest and polarized non-dialogue, I am convinced that beauty, truth, and goodness are more important than ever.

So, let me share some good news: I have been accepted into PhD studies at the Institute for Theology, Imagination, and the Arts (ITIA) within the Divinity School at the University of St Andrews. Katie and I visited the UK last spring to explore potential PhD options--as well as celebrate our 10-year wedding anniversary--and we fell in love with St Andrews, both the town and the university. This academic journey means our family of five will move from the Portland, OR area to the coast of Scotland for three years of adventures and education in Europe. I’ll graduate from Portland Seminary with my MA in Theological Studies on April 28, and my PhD program (“programme” in Scotland) begins on September 27. Our whole family is thrilled by this opportunity, as it will be an incredible cultural experience for all of us, especially our kids.

Joel and Katie, St Andrews, Scotland

Why Scotland and the University of St Andrews? I will be focusing my studies on the intersection of theology, ethics, and film; specifically, I'll be studying the films of the Dardenne brothers, theological aesthetics in the vein of Paul Tillich and Hans urs Von Balthasar, and various philosophers and ethicists (Emmanuel Levinas in particular). ITIA is a unique interdisciplinary program at one of the best, most highly regarded Divinity schools in the entire world. It’s the best possible program for this kind of study, and I’m grateful to get accepted. (Fun trivia: St Andrews is where the opening scene of Chariots of Fire was filmed, is considered the birthplace of golf, and is where Prince William and Kate Middleton met while attending university. Also, N.T. Wright happens to teach there.)

The way visas work for the UK, we have to have proof of adequate finances within our bank account for each person in our family. To cover the travel and visa costs for our family of five, we will need to have at least $40,000 saved in our bank account by June in order to move to Scotland. Over the past two years, we have saved up nearly $30,000 for this adventure, so we need at least $10,000 more to reach our goalBetween accommodations, visa and travel expenses, school tuition, and various fees, we recognize that we need financial help and support from others. We humbly ask for you to support us.

In the past few months, we have been asked by many people how they may be of help in this adventure. So we have come up with a number of ways that you can support us:

  • Give financially. Please make a donation to this GoFundMe fund, or you can send us a check or cash (Mail checks to 12435 NE 20th Street, Vancouver, WA 98684). We estimate that we need $10,000, so we cherish every donation. If 50 people gave $100, and 250 gave $20, we'd reach our goal!
  • Give us stuff to sell (or buy our stuff). We are planning on having at least two garage sales to sell all sorts of things, including our furniture, TV, kids’ clothes and toys, and books. If you have something you’d like to donate for us to sell, we’d love to pick it up from you if you live in the Portland area. We are also looking to sell our Subaru Forester just before we go, so if you’re interested in a fantastic used car, let us know.
  • Give to our travel needs. We will need enough large pieces of luggage for our family of five, so if you have any luggage you rarely use, we’d love to take it to Scotland! If you have airline miles you could donate, we are also looking to offset our ticket costs—five plane tickets to Edinburgh can get pricey.
  • Hire me. I’m available to write for your publications or speak for your conference, camp, class, retreat, etc. during the months of May-August. I can also do webinars on any of my three books. Contact me: jmayward (at)
  • Share this campaign and blog post. We don’t want to add to the social media noise, but we do want to share our good news and gain the support of anyone and everyone who wants to help. Share with your friends, family, co-workers, church small group, or anyone who cares deeply about education and the arts. Use #maywardadventures if you're a hashtagging sort of person.
  • Pray. Sometimes this can feel like the Christian spiritual add-on to these financial requests, but we’re quite serious—we truly need people to be praying for us, not only for the beginning of this adventure, but for its entire three-year duration.
One of our family’s values is to live a great story. This means developing our character, choosing difficult paths intentionally, and take the harder-but-better road. We see this move to Scotland as a new chapter in a greater story God is telling in and through us, and we invite you to be a part of that story with us!

Grace and peace,

Joel, Katie, Copeland, Eloise, and Alister


Friday, December 30, 2016

Top Music and Books of 2016

I didn't purchase many new albums or books in 2016. Much of the soundtrack and literature I consumed were from years past, discovering albums I'd overlooked or books from long ago which piqued my curiosity. Still, these 2016 albums and books served as my friends this past year. Inspiring, affecting, challenging, and enlightening, these are the dozen cultural companions who accompanied me on my journey. Perhaps they'll serve as faithful companions for you too.

In alphabetical order:

Top 6 Albums of 2016

Audrey Assad - Inheritance

Bon Iver - 22, A Million

David Bowie - Blackstar

Explosions in the Sky - The Wilderness

Radiohead - A Moon Shaped Pool

Soundtrack from the film Sing Street

Top 6 Books of 2016

Assimilate or Go Home: Notes from a Failed Missionary on Rediscovering Faith (D.L. Mayfield). A spiritual memoir filled with pathos and wisdom, snark and substance.

Better Living Through Criticism: How to Think about Art, Pleasure, Beauty, and Truth (A.O. Scott). Scott's philosophical rambling approach might be off-putting to some, but I found it winsome and affirming in his advocacy for the art of criticism, and the criticism of art.

Dreams, Doubt, and Dread: The Spiritual in Film (ed. Zachary Settle, Taylor Worley). Featuring some excellent writers on faith and film (David Dark, Michael Leary, Joe Kickasola) discussing phenomenology and various films and filmmakers (Jeff Nichols, Andrei Tarkovsky, Wes Anderson, David Lynch), this academic book is an excellent compilation.

The Dusty Ones: Why Wandering Deepens Your Faith (A.J. Swoboda). One should expect to be challenged and frustrated by this treatise on the practice of spiritual wandering. That's just how wandering goes, and A.J. has a gift for weaving the perfect tangent and anecdote into his writings.

How to Survive the Apocalypse: Zombies, Cylons, Faith, and Politics at the End of the World (Alissa Wilkinson, Robert Joustra) Essentially an introduction to the philosophy of Charles Taylor by way of pop culture, Wilkinson and Joustra have crafted something quite unique in its compelling critique of modern/postmodern culture, as well as celebration of truth and beauty wherever it can be found. The chapter on the film Her is worth the price of the book.

Profane Parables: Film and the American Dream (Matthew Rindge). At the intersection of political commentary, film criticism, and Biblical hermeneutics, this short-but-sweet book looks at three films--Fight Club, American Beauty, and About Schmidt--as filmic parables subverting the ethos of American civil religion and nationalism.

What were your favorite books and music albums from 2016? Share in the comments.

Thursday, September 29, 2016

On Reformation-Era Ministry with Youth

For my master's thesis, I've been reading on families and the spiritual formation of youth in the Reformation era. The main question I'm asking in my research revolves around the historical theology and significance of children and youth ministry. What are our historical roots? What can we learn from those who came before us? What have been historical practices within the church regarding the spiritual formation of youth? In particular, how did the theological views of Luther, Calvin, and the Anabaptists inform practices regarding spiritual formation, such as catechisms, confirmation, and baptism? There is a lack of critical and scholarly engagement with the historical origins of ministry with children and adolescents, particularly any theological studies devoted to teenagers prior to the 20th century.

In my research so far, I've noted that the churches struggled with waning faith as young people approached adulthood. From Gerald Strauss' book Luther's House of Learning
"This slackening of religious commitment was a common phenomenon. The question for reformers was not only: How well is instruction given in youth? But also, does it last throughout life? The evidence on this point was discouraging." 
While children were inclined to take up the faith of their family, faith began to lapse with the approach of adulthood. This was a common enough occurrence for pastors and church leaders to write treatises about how to keep this from happening, offering plenty of tools and advice for parents and pastors to keep young people engaged with their faith. New books and manuals were being printed in order to keep the youth and young adults from abandoning their Protestant faith.

Sound familiar?

The Reformers also emphasized the family context as primary for children's spiritual formation. Yet they found that families rarely lived up to this ideal, leading to the plethora of catechisms and religious education programs that emerged during the era in order to equip the parents to take up their vocation as the "bishops" of their family. Pastors expected the parents--especially the fathers--to ask their children about the sermons, to teach them to memorize Bible verses, and to lead a sort of family devotion at dinnertime.

Other children and youth ministry issues they were facing in Reformation-era Europe:
  • The onset of puberty between ages 11-14 led to issues with sexual promiscuity, while average marriage ages were in the early 20s for women and mid 20s for men. In the sixteenth century, people were getting married later and later.
  • Youth were often bored with church services and sermons, and religious education had to use creative tactics to keep children engaged, such as stage plays (skits),  stories, comedies, rhymes, case studies ("example stories"), and other forms. One pedagogue put it this way: "By means of these entertainments we may win them over to the lessons we want to teach them."
  • Parents were inclined not to be aloof or uncaring towards their children (as is sometimes assumed of the era) but to be overindulgent, spoiling their children through coddling them.
  • The ultimate goal for many churches and families was good behavior in children and youth--sexual purity, avoiding drunkenness, obedient to authorities, church attendance, and doing one's duty for society.
So, does any of this sound familiar? After 500 years of the Protestant church, we are still addressing the same issues in youth ministry in very similar ways. Of course, there certainly were differences. Yet I'm finding more similarity than disparity in my research thus far. Perhaps there's something we can learn from our ministry ancestors. As I continue in my research, I'll post more updates. For now, which of these findings surprises you or resonates with you?

Monday, August 15, 2016

Writing Roundup for Summer 2016

Illustration by Brianna Ashby for BW/DR
It's been awhile since I've posted anything on my personal blog, but that doesn't mean I haven't been writing. Here are the links and descriptions for the various essays, reviews, and musings I've written elsewhere:

Bright Wall / Dark Room. I wrote an essay on the filmic adaptation of my favorite novel, Cormac McCarthy's The Road called "Carrying the Fire." It's one of the most personal essays I've ever published, and I'm grateful for how it turned out. Subscribe to BW/DR for $3 a month, as they're publishing some of the most interesting and creative film criticism I've ever encountered.

Christianity Today. Continuing the yearlong series "The Year in Liturgical Cinema," I wrote a piece on Ordinary Time and slow-and-boring films, like those from Ozu, Bresson, and other filmmakers who highlight the mundane and everydayness of life. This series of essays exploring the themes of the liturgical calendar has been akin to a spiritual discipline for me, forcing me to look at films and spiritual practices in new ways.

Journal of Religion & Film. In my first foray into the world of academic publishing, I wrote a book review on Matthew Rindge's excellent new book Profane Parables: Film and the American Dream for the Journal of Religion & Film. The book focuses on three films--Fight Club, American Beauty, and About Schmidt--as subversive stories dismantling and critiquing the American dream. My review should be published in Spring 2017.

Youthworker Journal. My feature article "The Unexpected Gift of Burnout" is now available online. I also continue to write book reviews for YWJ; you can see all my latest for YWJ here.

I've also written lots of film reviews at Cinemayward, including The Innocents, Jason Bourne, Finding Dory, The Lobster, and Swiss Army Man. You can keep up with my writing by following me on Twitter or Cinemayward on Facebook.

If you'd like me to write for your publication, contact me via email.

Monday, April 25, 2016

Writing Roundup for Early 2016

Like I use a ball-point pen to write....

I've been doing quite a bit of writing this first quarter of 2016, so here is the roundup of links to where you can find my work:

The Year in Liturgical Cinema. This is an ongoing series at Christianity Today movies, where I explore the themes of the Christian liturgical calendar and draw connections and parallels with a variety of films.

Reel Spirituality. I wrote an essay for the Brehm Center at Fuller Seminary on The Hunger Games films and the systemic abandonment of youth in our culture.

Reel World Theology. Here's my review of Casablanca, one of my all-time favorite films and a beautiful picture of redemption.

YouthWorker Journal. For the movie-loving youth ministry folks, I wrote a post on "5 Ways to Effectively Use Movies as Illustrations."

Seeing and Believing Podcast. Okay, so I didn't *write* anything for this--I just talked about movies with Kevin McLenithan as a guest host for Christ and Pop Culture's podcast about film and TV. We discussed 10 Cloverfield Lane and our top 5 single-location movies.

I've also created downloadable movie discussion guides called CINE, which you can find at the online store. The latest one is called Superheroes, and the upcoming CINE guide will be Classic Youth Ministry Comedies (I'm looking at you, Princess Bride and Napoleon Dynamite)

You can also find my movie reviews at, like The Jungle Book, Midnight Special, Zootopia, and Knight of Cups.

Thanks for reading! Follow me on Twitter to keep the conversation going. If you'd like me to write for your publication, contact me here.

Saturday, February 27, 2016

Winding Paths: A Mayward Life Update

The Tianmen Mountain road in China is a beautiful, dangerous wonder. The serpentine roads traverse misty green cliffs and pointed peaks. There are 99 switchbacks leading up the mountain, many of which wrap around each other like a coiled snake. I found this image to be a striking portrayal of my spiritual journey in following Jesus. The path of spiritual transformation doesn't look like a straight-lined trajectory; it's a series of twists and turns, ups and downs, awe-inspiring while also risky. We revisit the places we once were, only we pass by with a more mature perspective as we're further along the journey.

Since my last life update, God has continued to guide us along new, winding paths which take unexpected turns. Here's what's been happening over the past few months:

Alister: Our youngest son went through open heart surgery this past August. It's the most difficult experience my wife and I have encountered as parents. We hope we're on the far side of this suffering; our son is healed, and has the scars to show for it. He's approaching his first birthday in the next two weeks, and we're deeply grateful for the past year and the joy he brings our family. We're also thankful for a God who comforts and sustains in the midst of suffering and unknowns, who is with us and for us, even when the outcome is unclear. God loves our kids more than we do. We're finding hope in that reality.

Cinemayward: I'm writing frequently for, my new website for all my film reviews and musings. I've been importing my old reviews from this blog to Cinemayward, and it's been fun to see how my writing and perspective has matured over the years. My first film review is this one for God Grew Tired of Us from August 2007; I've come a long way since that one. Check out all my reviews here. I've also launched a new downloadable resource with The Youth Cartel called CINE. Each CINE centers on a theme and features 4 films and discussion guides, which include games, discussion questions, and a devotional guide for small groups. So far, we have CINE: Christmas Movies and CINE: Superhero.

Writing: I've both limited and expanded my writing, saying "no" to some projects while diving deeper into others. I've written two essays for Christianity Today Movies (here and here) in a series we're calling The Year in Liturgical Cinema, following the Christian calendar and connecting films to the theological themes that emerge. I also wrote a chapter on the film Something, Anything for an e-book, Christ and Pop Culture Goes to the Movies: 2015. It's a phenomenal collection of 15 essays from the fine folks at Christ and Pop Culture. I'm working on essays for Reel Spirituality at Fuller, and continue to write book reviews and articles for Youthworker Journal.

Ministry: As of this month, my temporary interim role as the high school director at Lake Grove Presbyterian Church has taken a bit more of a permanent status--I'm working there 3/4 time while finishing up my masters degree at George Fox Evangelical Seminary. Lake Grove has been a wonderful community of mission- and discipleship-centered followers of Christ. As I'm still learning much about the Presbyterian world and culture, I'm enjoying this season of being back in a youth ministry role.

Church Planting: To make a long story short, our journey into church planting is on hold for the foreseeable future. Through the assessment process and our prayerful discernment, I ended up having to make a choice between two desirable paths--one towards church planting, the other towards getting my PhD. This doesn't mean our desire for church planting has dissipated, but it has taken the back seat for the next thing...

PhD: Through the past year of being in seminary and going through a significant vocational discernment process, climaxing in our church planting assessment, it's become more and more clear that I'm gifted and passionate about teaching and equipping people. I love writing, researching, teaching, communicating, guiding, nurturing, and enlightening others, particularly the emerging generation (i.e. youth and young adults). I find that I'm thriving in an academic environment. I'm also finding that many, if not most, of the youth ministry and pastoral folks I encounter *aren't* wired this way--they're not as thrilled about the academic/education process as I am. I want to be a good steward of the gifts I've been given, as well as find my "fit" as a member within the body of Christ. So, I'm taking steps to pursue PhD studies in theology and religion, and I'm especially interested in subjects like the intersection of film, ethics, theology, and spiritual formation. One of these steps involves visiting the University of Kent in Canterbury, UK. Katie and I will be traveling to the UK in May, both to explore the potential of doctoral studies and as an early celebration of our 10-year wedding anniversary. My ultimate goal is to teach at the university and/or graduate level, though that's certainly a few years off.

You can be praying for us--if we do go the route of PhD studies, it'll mean another big move (there aren't any theology PhD programs in the Pacific Northwest), at least 3 years in a new (possibly international) location, and we'll need some financial help (hopefully in the way of scholarships or job opportunities). It'll also be a significant move for our kids--moving three kiddos, especially one with past heart disease, is daunting. But we're also willing to take the step of faith and go on this adventure together.

And it's quite the adventure God is leading us on. We're still unsure where it ultimately leads. Lots of winding paths and unknowns, but certain to encounter beautiful vistas and moments of awe and clarity. One certainty that gives us comfort is Christ's presence and grace throughout the adventure. We're stepping forward in faith. We want to live a great story. I hope we're doing it.

Wednesday, December 30, 2015

Top 10 Favorite Films of 2015

At, my new film review website, I posted my top 10 favorite films of 2015, as well as an ode to my wife, Katie, and her strength for our family in 2015:

Let’s face it: end-of-year list-making is a complex task. You have to go back and think of all the stories and images that have worked their way into your mind and heart, evaluating what has lingered. Some films made a strong first impression, but waned quickly. Others were initially met with hesitation or frustration, but proved to be more powerful than I imagined due to their ability to endure in my thoughts and bring up new ideas. These top 10 favorite films are the ones that made a lasting impression, that moved or challenged me, that communicated deep or weighty ideas and offered spiritual insights. (You can read my Top 5 Documentaries and #25-21 here, and my Top #20-11 here.)
If there was a common theme threading its way through my favorite films list, it might be the presence of strong, beautiful, heroic female characters. I wonder what’s drawn me to such a motif, or if the year of 2015 has simply been a banner year for females in films. Think about both the major blockbusters and the critically-acclaimed art films: The Force Awakens, Carol, Mad Max: Fury Road, Room, Brooklyn, Inside Out, The Assassin, Sicario, Ex Machina, Joy. They all feature strong female leads giving memorable performances as fully-realized characters. Plenty of films in 2015 passed the Bechdel Test with flying colors. Two-thousand and fifteen was The Year of the Female Lead Role.
Personally, the past year has been one of the most difficult, painful, and transformative years in my entire life. It’s also been a character-developing year for my beloved wife. She has been the strong and beautiful female presence in our story, the heroine who kept me and our children afloat in a season of distress and suffering. In the past year, our third child was born with a significant heart defect, one which led to open heart surgery a few months later. The months of doctor appointments were filled with waiting and wondering. Those hours in the hospital as we handed off our boy to the doctors so they could repair holes were the most painful moments we have yet experienced as a couple. When your child’s life is in question, when their safety and well-being are out of your hands, well…it’s difficult, to say the least. Add my personal struggle with healing from burnout and depression, as well as a few identity crises moments and vocational revelations, and I’ve been a mess. But Katie, my wife–she’s the one who carried us. I think of the moment in Mad Max: Fury Road where Max is taking aim with a rifle at a distant enemy and misses. Furiosa approaches and asks for the gun, which Max reluctantly but knowingly hands over to her. She uses his shoulder as a base to steady her aim, then makes the shot he couldn’t make. That’s been my marriage this year–we’ve struggled through this as a team, but she’s been the foundation while I play the supporting role. She’s made the shots I couldn’t make on my own.
So, consider this list an ode to my wife. She’s not invested much in films, but she’s certainly invested in me, in our children, and in our life together. We have a value as a family: live a great story. It’s a value that continues to prompt us to take the more difficult, risky, exciting path in life. I can’t think of anyone else I’d want to live out this story with. My wife has been the hero of our story in 2015. If there was a real-life award for Best Female in a Lead Role, my vote goes to her.
These are the films that moved me, captivated me, terrified me, challenged me, and inspired me. These are my top 10 favorite films from 2015
Read the list here.

Monday, December 21, 2015

Top 10 Blog Posts from 2015

These are the ten most-read, most-shared blog posts I've written in 2015 on Whether or not they're indicative of my best writing, they're the posts that resonated with the most people. My most-read film review was about Clint Eastwood's American Sniper, a film I didn't really enjoy, but apparently struck a chord with movie-goers. My #1 shared post had a brief "viral" moment via Facebook, sparking a bit of controversy as folks debated and defended the merits of faith-based films. 

Some of the most honest and best-written posts I've crafted haven't been read or shared as much, like this post about being a theological mutt, or this reflection on the risks of authenticity in ministry, or my critique of the funnel of youth ministry. It's always fascinating to see what connects with people and what doesn't. I'm simply grateful for this space to write and the people like you who continue to read. Thanks for reading over the past year! Enjoy this look in the rearview mirror:

10. About Elly.
"About Elly is a strikingly simple premise and story, but don't let its simplicity make you think this is an easy film to watch. Morally complex and devastating emotionally, About Elly at first feels like a Western romantic dramedy, until a pivotal moment reveals the underlying motivations and cultural values permeating the film. It may feel familiar at times, but this is still an Iranian film, through and through, and cultural context matters in a big way. This phenomenal film from Iranian filmmaker Asghar Farhadi (A SeparationThe Past) only affirms that he is a formidable and impressive filmmaker, capable of making ordinary dramas turn into moral parables of emotional and intellectual weight. While the film debuted in 2009, it only made its theatrical release to the U.S. this year, and if it counts as a 2015 film, it's my favorite film of the year thus far."

9. 12 Things that Matter in Searching for a Church.
"What's the criteria for finding a church? How can you tell if a church is the right fit based on one or two visits? I'm realizing that finding a great church is like discerning compatibility within a romantic relationship--there needs to be an alignment of values and ethos, a sense of mutual benefit and joy, a movement in the same direction in life, and a healthy dose of the guidance and wisdom of the Holy Spirit. We need to be able to do this following Jesus thing together, as partners in the gospel."

8. My Upcoming Book: Jesus Goes to the Movies.
"Part One of the book offers a theological grid and framework for watching movies with wisdom and discernment. This section is the meat of the book, helping us to foster spiritual conversations with young people. There are chapters on a theology of culture, the history of the church and Hollywood, various worldviews presented in films, the history of youth culture, various theological approaches to movie-watching, and seeing Christ figures in films, as well as a practical chapter on how to incorporate movies into your ministry.

Part Two is a compilation of 50 films and spiritual discussion guides meant for small groups, families, or one-on-one conversations. The cool part: an ongoing supply of these discussion guides will be downloadable as new films are released. Imagine a new movie is coming out, and you'd like to take your small group to see it and talk about it. You download the super-inexpensive-yet-awesome guide, keep it on your phone or print it off, and use it to foster a spiritual discussion."

7. Unplanned Parenthood: On the Hopeful Choice for Life.
"The false dichotomy created by the labels of “pro-life’ and “pro-choice” seems unhelpful in the abortion debate. The pro-life folks are not anti-choice in every respect, nor do I imagine the pro-choice advocates being anti-life. In fact, I would consider myself “pro-choice” in the sense that I believe in human freedom and flourishing, and I have genuine hope regarding the human heart and its potential for making good choices in our world. While I recognize the brokenness and depravity human beings are capable of inflicting, I also have an optimism about people."

6. American Sniper.
"An Americanized Christianity is evident in American Sniper, particularly through Chris's good luck charm--a pew Bible he took from a church in his boyhood, which he keeps tucked beneath his body armor. This type of Christianity is a moralistic therapeutic deism, a God intended to make us feel good when we really need Him, but is mostly absent and unnecessary for our daily tasks. A fellow SEAL, Marc Lee, is a man of faith and a former seminary student who serves as an embodied conscience for Chris. Marc asks Chris about his Bible, if he ever opens it. He doesn't. Marc is clearly troubled about the direction of the Iraq war, wondering about its purpose and his involvement. Chris essentially shuts him down, asking "you're not going to get all soft on me, are you?" Marc wonders about Chris's obsession with his task, asking Chris if he may have a savior complex. But when Marc is killed in an ambush, his mother reads aloud a letter at his funeral sharing his doubts about the American military and the Iraqi conflict. Driving away from the funeral, Chris is unflinching. "That letter killed him," he tells Taya brusquely. Then, a tense silence."

5. 8 Questions to Ask Before Leaving a Ministry.
"If you choose to enter full-time ministry as your vocation, you'll eventually have to face this question: should I stay or should I go?

It could be due to all sorts of factors--a new job offer, a family crisis, lack of chemistry in the current ministry, serious conflicts with boss or co-workers, or it just feels like "it's time."

How do you know when to leave a ministry position and when to stick it through? Do you need to move on to something else, or should you remain faithful where you are? It can be difficult to discern what you need to do and what questions to ask."

4. New: A Mayward Life Update.
"So much has happened in my life and with our family over the past few months, it's hard to even keep up with it all. The emotional ups and downs of recent days have been significant, and I am trying to keep up with Jesus as we follow him into new territory. I am discovering that the horizon looks different than it did a year ago. Things have changed.

All things are new.

Fresh. Different. Recent. Revived.

With so much newness, I want to give you a glimpse into what God has been up to in our lives, some snapshots of the new."

3. 12 Great Films About Christianity.
"Thankfully, there are films that do live up to the moniker of "Christian movie" in that they exhibit the truth and beauty of Christ. These films wonderfully communicate the nature of what it means to be a Christian, the theology of Christian spirituality, and the ups and downs of true discipleship, all in a well-crafted cinematic experience. If someone was investigating or exploring Christianity, and they wanted to watch a movie about the Christian faith, these are some of the films I'd watch with them. Or, if a disciple of Jesus wanted to watch an artistic portrayal of the faith as a source of encouragement and inspiration in their pursuit of Christ, these films would certainly fit the bill."

2. 8 Cliche Youth Ministry Phrases.
"This is all tongue-in-cheek, of course, because I love (or love on) the youth ministry tribe. As you smirk and giggle at the above phrases, remember this: our language matters. We need to have self-awareness about the words we speak and the tone we use when sharing about matters of faith, love, and Jesus. We have to be mindful of using insider language that could be easily misunderstood or even harmful to relationships with young people. When we speak youth ministry-ese, let's be alert to how our words shape our actions and relationships."

1. The "Faith" of Faith-Based Films: On Moralistic Therapeutic Deism in Christian Movies.
"In true Christianity, there is room for difference and grace. I am not saying that we cannot have differing opinions on films, or that the subculture of evangelical Christianity cannot have its own art and stories to celebrate. This is not the cynical rant of someone who believes Christians incapable of making good art, but as someone who believes we can--and should--make art that resonates with the truth and beauty found in Christ. I am concerned as a pastor and a film critic because it's not just that these films aren't that good, it's that they seem to advocate for a less-than-true form of Christianity. And audiences are buying it, both literally and spiritually."


Thanks for reading! You can continue to read my musings on life, youth ministry, theology, and culture here at Check out more of my film-related writing at Cinemayward.