Friday, August 10, 2007

Journeys of faith...

These past few weeks and months have been incredibly difficult for me, I just wanted to share briefly what I have learned and am still learning. I have come to the conclusion that God is calling Joel and I to take some incredible steps of faith that I am often not comfortable with. I have always had a hard time trusting God, trust in general has never been an easy thing for me to do. As Joel always compares this journey we are on to Abraham, I also compare our journey to this great man, for his faith was credited to him as righteousness. He was to leave everything he knew and take only what he had and his immediate family and travel to a land that God had not even directed him to yet. I have to say that daily I feel as if I am on this same kind of journey and some days are overridden by anxiety and worry and other days I have the strangest peace. I always come back to what I know and am confident of: God is good. Whether I see it, or feel it or understand it; nothing changes the fact that God is good. He has only love for His children and He is also full of all wisdom. So though we may not think His actions are good, He in His infinite wisdom knows what is best for us. When days get hard and life gets scary I always want to remember this incredible fact. I often times am so confident in my plans and schedule and forget to have faith. The journey that Joel and I are on is an incredible one. I am used to having security and a long list and calendar to go with it. Those of you that know me well know that lists and calendars are my life. This past year I have noticed that I have slowly stopped writing lists and I no longer even own a planner. I feel the Lord is teaching me how to be flexible and instead of having my life planned, to learn that He is completely in control and I am not. And instead of the loss of control being a bad thing, it is actually the best thing. I truly believe that God works wonders when we have given full control to Him. The last year of my life has been full of these times where I had no control and no plan. But I can look back and name a dozen or more times that God provided very physically and tangibly for Joel and I in ways that we would never have expected it. I have hope in God, because I have seen who He is and I am confident in what I have seen Him do.

2 comments:

  1. Katie
    Your posts always help me understand more about this whole thing. I have been having trouble trusting God knows what he is doing and to read that it is something you have trouble with just helps me some how. I know that God has a plan but it is hard to trust that he does when life's not going how we think it should go.
    Betsey

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  2. I know this is like, waaaay later than when you first posted this, but I just wanted to take the time to say that I know how this feels. I am going through a LOT of changed in my life, and it feels like things have been ripped out from underneath me. And now, it's like He's calling me to speak about the truth of His Word to those who are mislead and want to know more. And I'm not really one for change, and trusting in God alone is hard. I have the back and forth of the incredible peace, and then the anxiety and the worry. And then I get so set on what He's saying that I forget about faith.

    I'm only 18...and He's calling me to do this huge thing. I'm like Moses when God called him to lead the Israelite people out of Egypt through the burning bush. He did what I am doing. Doubting God, arguing with him saying that "I am slow of speech and tongue"(Exodus 4:10) and therefore I am unable to do it. But I do trust God and what he said to me when I had what I call my "breaking point" and I felt Jesus wrap his arms around me and told me that my pain and suffering will not be in vain and to not give up. It's just trusting that is so hard.

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