Monday, September 17, 2007

Preparing under pressure

Katie and I fly down for an important interview in Mesa, Arizona on Wednesday. This has been the biggest step of our job search thus far. I will be sharing about our job search experience for the next week, as this is a new and unique experience for both of us. Perhaps our experience will help others going through similar life transitions.

I have spent the last week in preparation mode. I am trying to learn as much as I can about the church, the community, and myself before the interview process. I want to know about the church because I want to be informed about their mission, values, strengths, and weaknesses as best as I can from a distance. I will be evaluating the church as much as the church is evaluating me. I want to know about the community because it may become home for the next few years. I want to know about myself because I need to be able to communicate who I am as a person--strengths, weaknesses, values, etc.--as clearly and authentically as possible. I also have to know myself well enough to know if this position is right for me. It might be perfect for me; it might be perfect for someone else equally qualified to serve.

I'm dealing with a lot of pressure and anxiety right now. I have so many questions rolling through my mind. What if I say something stupid or offensive? What if they don't like my teaching? Or my personality? What if I don't like their teaching or personality? What if we can't find a good place to live? What if we can't stand the desert after awhile? What if they don't take care of us financially or spiritually? What if we don't have the same views on certain theological issues? What if they think I'm too young? What if I'm not good enough? What will we do if this doesn't work out?

Some of these are good questions to be asking; most are just my heart voicing its fears. I'm finding that the questions betray my insecurities with myself and my lack of trust in God's plan for our lives. Jesus once said something like, "Don't worry about your future; today has enough troubles of its own. Seek my kingdom and my will in your life, and everything else will work out just as I planned it. I will take care of you." (my paraphrase of Matt. 6:33-34) I am learning to trust in what I know to be true about God: that He is loving, kind, gracious, and sovereign. That His Holy Spirit will guide us and give us wisdom. That we don't need to worry, because God the Father gives good gifts to His children (Matt. 7:11).

I need to be as prepared as I can for this interview process. Beyond that, I need to put my life into God's hands, trusting that He is a good God and will take care of us. Please be praying for us in this process!

No comments:

Post a Comment