Monday, December 15, 2008

Vacuums Suck

When Katie and I got married, we each brought a vacuum cleaner into the relationship. Mine was a little red Hoover that looked vaguely serpentine. Katie's was a tiny silver vacuum called a "Shark," implying that the thing would eat anything in a frenzy-like fashion.

In less than a year, both vacuums were partially broken. With their powers combined, we could manage to vacuum our entire apartment, though not without frustration and leaving a lot of dirt behind.

A few days ago, both vacuums coincidentally died. About an hour prior to the death of our vacuums, I put up our Christmas tree, Sherman. Trees have pine needles. Pine needles make messes. Our living room began to look like a forest floor.

To make matters worse, I managed to improperly put up a full-length mirror that shattered all over our bedroom floor this evening.

Multiple dead vacuums + multiple Sherman droppings + infinite shards of glass in bedroom = multiple frustrated Maywards.

So when a Christmas check arrived in the mail today from my loving parents, we didn't hesitate--we bought an early Christmas gift. We are now the proud owners of a brand new vacuum cleaner, thanks to the friendly Sears guy (who happens to be from the northwest. Go figure.). Not having a vacuum cleaner for a few days made us thankful for the little things that so many people in this world go without, like carpet under our feet and a roof over our head.

Thanks Mom and Dad! You've saved our sensitive bare feet from the clutches of grunge, grime, and glass. We love ya for it.


  1. So your wife is pregnant AND she's the only one using the vacuum in the picture!? Dude, the 50's ended like a hundred years ago.

  2. Ha ha ha! I am having vacuum issues over here too oddly enough... Glad you guys were able to get something that really "sucks." =)

  3. Brian, she also makes me steak-and-potatoes dinners while I sit on the couch reading the newspaper, drinking beer, and chain smoking. We're like an episode of Mad Men.

  4. I hope not EXACTLY like Mad Men. Those kids are crazy. You do slightly resemble John Ham though.

  5. Jon Hamm? I'm strangely honored, actually. Hopefully I resemble him in the looks department and not the "i sleep with everyone apart from my wife" department.