Monday, December 15, 2008

Vacuums Suck

When Katie and I got married, we each brought a vacuum cleaner into the relationship. Mine was a little red Hoover that looked vaguely serpentine. Katie's was a tiny silver vacuum called a "Shark," implying that the thing would eat anything in a frenzy-like fashion.

In less than a year, both vacuums were partially broken. With their powers combined, we could manage to vacuum our entire apartment, though not without frustration and leaving a lot of dirt behind.

A few days ago, both vacuums coincidentally died. About an hour prior to the death of our vacuums, I put up our Christmas tree, Sherman. Trees have pine needles. Pine needles make messes. Our living room began to look like a forest floor.

To make matters worse, I managed to improperly put up a full-length mirror that shattered all over our bedroom floor this evening.

Multiple dead vacuums + multiple Sherman droppings + infinite shards of glass in bedroom = multiple frustrated Maywards.

So when a Christmas check arrived in the mail today from my loving parents, we didn't hesitate--we bought an early Christmas gift. We are now the proud owners of a brand new vacuum cleaner, thanks to the friendly Sears guy (who happens to be from the northwest. Go figure.). Not having a vacuum cleaner for a few days made us thankful for the little things that so many people in this world go without, like carpet under our feet and a roof over our head.

Thanks Mom and Dad! You've saved our sensitive bare feet from the clutches of grunge, grime, and glass. We love ya for it.

5 comments:

  1. So your wife is pregnant AND she's the only one using the vacuum in the picture!? Dude, the 50's ended like a hundred years ago.

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  2. Ha ha ha! I am having vacuum issues over here too oddly enough... Glad you guys were able to get something that really "sucks." =)

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  3. Brian, she also makes me steak-and-potatoes dinners while I sit on the couch reading the newspaper, drinking beer, and chain smoking. We're like an episode of Mad Men.

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  4. I hope not EXACTLY like Mad Men. Those kids are crazy. You do slightly resemble John Ham though.

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  5. Jon Hamm? I'm strangely honored, actually. Hopefully I resemble him in the looks department and not the "i sleep with everyone apart from my wife" department.

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